On Relatives and Struggling to Belong (or: Setting Boundaries)

Hi everyone! I'm currently on break due to a National Holiday, and during this time I had the chance to hang out with some of my relatives.

Relatives! According to Google, "relative" comes from the Latin word "relativus," meaning "having reference or relation," as well as the English word "relate."

As welcoming as these relatives are, I feel that I cannot fully "relate" to them. I have noticed:

• There are many observed habits that my "Western side" finds uncomfortable (i.e. shouting across a restaurant to tell the waitress that she missed an order).
• There are many social and conversational "givens," especially when they all interact with each other. As they take part in the "in group," I feel left out; I am an outsider.
• There are many things they want to do for me to show their hospitality and care, but sometimes I simply want to say: "No, thank you (Please give me some space)."

This isn't all bad though! My struggling to belong is great for a couple reasons:

• I have the chance to learn more about Chinese culture.
• I will learn more about myself and what I believe in throughout this process.

At the root, I am learning to form boundaries; I am giving definition to myself and all components of myself (Philosophy, beliefs, etc.), which, as a young adult trying to figure out life, I find very exciting! (And it is something I will happily partake in)

Will my relatives and I ever "relate" to each other? I have an inkling that we will never reach complete understanding, and maybe that is ok, because that's the basic reality: we are different.

P.S. I just skimmed the wikipedia article that I linked to "boundaries" above - it's fascinating (and very much related to this post)! Please give it a skim when you have the time :)